Pappa wants mamma naked
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
