ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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