Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
