i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize