I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
