Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
