I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
