if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
