I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Couch. On fire.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize