so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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