Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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