All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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