Whod you bang
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Houston, we have a squirter
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
