OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
