just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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