some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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