i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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