conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
