hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
