so explain again why im purple
no
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
