You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
