So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
MIDGETS
????
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
