Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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