Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Drake has all the answers
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
