he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
