Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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