Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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