it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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