I accidentally had phone sex last night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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