Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize