I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
