I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize