just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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