U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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