I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
