Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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