I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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