Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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