Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
