like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
then he tried to convert me to islam
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
