I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i dont even know how to be here
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I had to cum in my sink.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
