guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
