is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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