You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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