so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
