Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
