All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
