so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
