Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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