just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
