Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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