Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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