It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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