I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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