I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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