Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
