happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love you. Go after that dick
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
