And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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