my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"