Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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