i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize