dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
