come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
