Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
