You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
