She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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