Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
