The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
